machine gun farts & stink of the homeless

This post post should work as the perfect glimpse into what it is like to be me; Husband, father, pet-owner, home-owner, blah, blah, blah. Enjoy!

Over the past week, several conversations between my wife & I stand out in my mind. Some conversations were about safety issues with having a new born & a 2 year old head-butting terrorist, some conversations hovered around the standard topic of bills, some of these conversations even consisted of "The Bachelor" TV show (much more on this later!). The commonality these conversations share are that these issues will all work themselves out naturally and will eventually fade from memory.

Two conversations won't ever fade!

#1
The first mind-bending conversation being, my wife casually stating in a phone call, "Did you know that your son smelled like a homeless man this morning?"

I am not sure what the correct response is for that but I remember blurting out, "Why...no. I was unaware of that."

#2
The second conversation that sticks in my mind like a dog eating a peanut butter sandwich was more of an occurrence. Several nights ago my wife grumbled something about what she ate that upset her stomach, and in turn upset our week & a half old daughter's stomach as well. Within seconds, what sounded like the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan erupted. Rapid-fire, machine gun farts, from my sweet, innocent 17" long daughter!

Again, I am not sure what the correct response is for that situation, but my reaction was to laugh my ass off.

Welcome to my point of view!